28~ Right'Chea, Right Nah

If you could get your hands on some dick right now...how would you like it?


Woooooo

~feeling a lil bad for writing this on a Sunday morning~

Um, Well...*gulping hungrily*

I'z in need. Let's just put it out there. I went from "waiting for my love"...to swearing off sex completely and putting up a brick wall JUST so that I wouldn't have to fend off unwanted advances. Honestly, this was with good intentions...but, it's getting old.

I guess, at 38 I'm at that "peak" I heard of. I swear, I think of sex at the most INAPPROPRIATE damn times. I ain't gonna tell you when and where, but let's just say...I need prayers. (seriously...get on that)

Anywho...

I can't figure out if I want someone to throw me over a couch arm, lift my skirt, smack my ass and enter my whirl pool with one long dive...pounding away until my lips pucker for that ultimate kiss...or have him lay me down softly and make love.

I'm missing the intimacy of love-making and the satisfaction of being "taken" willfully by a confident, "cocky" and  hungry lover. I want to have my breast given exclusive attention with licks, sucks, pulls and kneads that would make dough jealous. I want long kisses, deep and sensuous...kisses on my chin, lovingly placed with the emotion of someone in love with my love. I want to sit on someone and make their eyes close, toes splay and fingers dig deep into my thighs while he fights that explosion...

Yet, I could stand to have my legs thrown back and have my walls compromised by something large from someone who is digging like I owe him money. *you ever had  the opposite dig in your pocket for money...or keys even...and you look at them like, "Oh my...that's turning me on"?*

...no? I guess that's just me...

Either way...I want someone who is gonna put me to bed and wake me back up, just to punish me for even THINKING sleep is in the plans. WAKE UP BISH...take this!!!

~phew~

Yea, I need to go back to bed. It's 6:18am on a Sunday morning and I ain't got the right to be talking like this...

 O__~

9~My Body Is A Temple

Does your religion/beliefs hinder your sexual expression?

Yes and No.

I'm not very religious, I'm spiritual. I believe in Christ and I believe in sin. In THAT way, it is hindered...yet for me the word "hinder" is strong. It's a choice for me to remain celibate. My abstinence transcended into a celibacy due to my own personal desires to make a change in my life. I exercise discipline over my flesh because I believe that I'm at a point in my life where God is calling me to live right. You can't advise folk of something you're not practicing...so, I keep my legs closed. lol This of course is an easy feat due to there being no prospective men in my life. Lord be a fence and a cold shower when an attractive man falls into my midst. ~phew~

I want to be able to draw the line between the one who desires me and the one who wants to fulfill my love's desires. I want my king to come into my life and I want to weed out all of those whose intent is purely lustful and not in line with my own beliefs.

I was in love and waiting for someone and I found myself very much in that situation by myself. What I need is to be on an eye to eye level with someone. I need to know that screwing me isn't his only goal.

I COULD do my thing...and still be okay with who I am and my own personal walk with God because it is mine and no one is going to be with me on Judgment Day...but it wouldn't in my opinion, lead me to the person who I want to be my last first kiss. Casual sex isn't in the cards for me at this point in my life's journey, therefore I am holding onto my treasure until I feel like sharing it.

Is my spirituality and beliefs and impetus to remain celibate? Yes. Is it a hindrance? No.