28~ Right'Chea, Right Nah

If you could get your hands on some dick right now...how would you like it?


Woooooo

~feeling a lil bad for writing this on a Sunday morning~

Um, Well...*gulping hungrily*

I'z in need. Let's just put it out there. I went from "waiting for my love"...to swearing off sex completely and putting up a brick wall JUST so that I wouldn't have to fend off unwanted advances. Honestly, this was with good intentions...but, it's getting old.

I guess, at 38 I'm at that "peak" I heard of. I swear, I think of sex at the most INAPPROPRIATE damn times. I ain't gonna tell you when and where, but let's just say...I need prayers. (seriously...get on that)

Anywho...

I can't figure out if I want someone to throw me over a couch arm, lift my skirt, smack my ass and enter my whirl pool with one long dive...pounding away until my lips pucker for that ultimate kiss...or have him lay me down softly and make love.

I'm missing the intimacy of love-making and the satisfaction of being "taken" willfully by a confident, "cocky" and  hungry lover. I want to have my breast given exclusive attention with licks, sucks, pulls and kneads that would make dough jealous. I want long kisses, deep and sensuous...kisses on my chin, lovingly placed with the emotion of someone in love with my love. I want to sit on someone and make their eyes close, toes splay and fingers dig deep into my thighs while he fights that explosion...

Yet, I could stand to have my legs thrown back and have my walls compromised by something large from someone who is digging like I owe him money. *you ever had  the opposite dig in your pocket for money...or keys even...and you look at them like, "Oh my...that's turning me on"?*

...no? I guess that's just me...

Either way...I want someone who is gonna put me to bed and wake me back up, just to punish me for even THINKING sleep is in the plans. WAKE UP BISH...take this!!!

~phew~

Yea, I need to go back to bed. It's 6:18am on a Sunday morning and I ain't got the right to be talking like this...

 O__~

Freak!

The Online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines freak as follows...

1 a : a sudden and odd or seemingly pointless idea or turn of the mind b : a seemingly capricious action or event
2 archaic : a whimsical quality or disposition
3 : one that is markedly unusual or abnormal: as a : a person or animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus sideshow b slang (1) : a sexual deviate (2) : a person who uses an illicit drug c : hippie d : an atypical postage stamp usually caused by a unique defect in paper (as a
crease) or a unique event in the manufacturing process (as a speck of dirt on the plate) that does not produce a constant or systematic effect
4 a : an ardent enthusiast b : a person who is obsessed with something

Hmmmm?

I love that part of "Waiting to Exhale" when Bernie's daughter is asking her about the word freak. Cute and interesting at the same time. When I was growing up, the word freak meant 1 of 3 things. It either meant you were ugly (as in circus freak), it meant that you were nasty (as in Rick James' super freak) or it meant that you crazy. The 2nd definition is one I NEVER wanted to be called. Blame it on my affinity for words and how I've always broken them down. All I know is that in the mind of a young Kween, I could've gone my entire life without being called one. The 1st and 3rd don't apply...because well...I'm no circus freak and I damn sure ain't crazy. Well, not all the way.

Throughout my life I've heard "freak of nature", "freak accident", "neat freak", "control freak", "freak out"...which is also a hot 70's disco song, "freak-a-leak" which, um...er, uh clearly means some kind of nastiness. lol. No matter, the word freak is one that has it's good and bad connotations. But, let's be real...I brought the word about because of sex. I've had this discussion with a few friends and an ex...and I have to say...the definition is absolutely relative. See, there was a time when the word freak, as pertaining to sex meant to ME...a person who did things other than simple penetrating sex. Straight sex to me is vagina on penis action. When someone would say, "Oh that chick is a FREAK!"...I'd think in my head...oh, she sucks dick. So, in my head oral sex became a freakish act. Later on, I realized there are a LOT more "freaky" things, than some head. After a while, ANAL became freaky to me O_O...that being because compared to oral, anal sex seemed most unnatural. THEN...I got to know some really *let's call them a new name*..."sexually expressive" people who told and showed me things that made me think, damn...I'd rather being a damn freak than THIS. The fuck? What became MORE freaky than anal (a man penetrating a woman's anus for pleasure) was a man doing it to another man...or a woman using a dildo on a man...and him liking it...and her not thinking, "Is he gay?". Then, it was OFF shit...stuff that seems like some weird self-hate shit, like choking a bitch out...whipping folks with leather whips and cat o'nine tails. WHOA Sea Biscuit! WHOA Tenderfoot! Slow down damnit! I mean, I like the occasional open-handed firm, but gentle spanking applied right at the ass where the vibrations travel to the kitty...just as much as the next one...but hell nah. I have too many bad memories attached to getting my ass whooped with a belt to be bent over getting my ass reddened by a grown ass man with his dick hard off my pain. *wait...hmm* NO...NO...hell no. lol *ahem* *whistling* GEEZ! I have even seen, well...heard *lmao* of fisting...where a person basically punches a woman's vaginal canal with their fist and half of their forearm. *cringing*. WOW.

ANYWAYS...I wondered what other people viewed as "freaky" and how they have gotten over their own hang-ups and insecurities concerning sex. Would you be a submissive? A sex slave? Would you fist or be fisted? What perversity is up your alley or out of your league? The floor is open...just don't get nothing on my rug.