do you know?

do you know how i fall asleep

imagining you sleeping

still inside of me

how i feel your mouth

tickling my breasts

do you know

that when im lying on my side

i crave you behind me

just lying there

connected in a love hold

do you know

when i talk to you

and hear you 

i cant get out of my mind

hearing you say my name

slow whispers

while stroking me deep 

how the empty space between my thighs

belongs to you?

do you know?

how you've become the tingle in my tummy?

the pulse of an ache only you can satisfy

the answer to my why?

i wanna be good, i swear i do

but i want you

more than i should 

baby...love...

how is it that you're not here

but

when i think of you

my back automatically arches

my breast become firmer and more tender

my essence drips of excitement

how even though

i dont moan [normally]

i'd HAVE to moan for you

not just because it feels good

but because your love makes my heart speak

do you know?

do you really know?

you NEED to know

that i prefer the sweet agony of the intangibility of us

to the mediocre touch of another

i hope you know

because...

it's all "I" know

Someone LOVES my blog!! :)

Well, I'll be GOT dayumned...lol. 

Someone LOVES my blog. It's so cool to be appreciated for my literary endeavors.  Things like this are always RIGHT on time. Just when you're needing a little support, love and acknowledgement...in comes something so simple, but so meaningful. Thanks to Cook.the.Poet for loving my blog!!

I'm gonna tell you whose blogs I love. I'm only doing 7 because I LITERALLY could do this all day.

Deez Nailz is such a cool site for ladies dedicated to the love of the mani. She experiments with colors and styles and posts some VERY unique designs. Definitely for the girly girl.

Krissy's One Stop Beauty Spot is just that...she's prolific in all things cosmetic. Gotta love her.

My inner thoughts...ME is the very personal blog of my girl Diva. She's such a tease...but, she delivers!

soulbrother v.2 is the blog of a brother that goes by Max Reddick...he dissects the everyday issues, but from the view of a very intelligent, unique and funny perspective.

kiss.the.pen well, she's my fave kissy face in the whole world. LOL She and I have become each other's stalkers. Her poetry, stories and love of music, make for a very kisstacular blog read.

THE INTERSECTION OF MADNESS AND REALITY is just damned that. It's insane AND real. Rippa's a personal friend of mine, whose blog is all about the shock value and the very open and unapologetic perspective of a black man...if you can get past the shock to see the real.

Last, but damn sure never least...my blog model, [FUNG'KE] [BLAK] [CHIK] is my friend...my P.I.C. and if you want to laugh, think and possibly bob your head to the off beat in her head...give it a try. You WILL enjoy her wit.

Honorable mentions: my go-to-blogs Butterfly Effect, The Curvy Gyrl Chronicles & Ms Downlow

~doing my kween pageant wave~

tell me

*kissing u to distraction*
would you keep me warm if i were cold?
[wrap yourself around me...]
would you luxuriate in me?
my scent?
the feeling of my skin?
my hair?
would you rush to me?
trip and fall for me?
if i wanted to make you late...
~because~
i needed to feel you
inside of me...
would you let me?
can i be your pillow?
can you be mine?
[rock me to sleep...]
would you sing to me...softly?
would you show me things
i've never seen?
would you give me your last?
dime?
morsel?
ounce of energy?
would you get to know me?
all of me?
and still love me?
would you stay with me?
would you?
would you watch what i wanted..
even if you don't want?
would you help me solve a puzzle?
become one mind...
[one heart]
would you share a plate with me?
[feed me]
would you swap the streets...
for me and ruffled sheets?
trade alone time
for home time?
tell me...would you?
just WHAT would you do for me?
tell me...

Award Tour...

I've been chosen for an award...AGAIN! :::the.kisser::: has given THIS blog some love. (She already gave me the Scrap Award for da Kaleidoscope) I love this system of spreading blogger love. Recognizing each other's talents and different views. So, kudos to my newest blogger fam.

for the kreativ blogger award i nominate:

~> Suite *one* Love
~> Krissy's One Stop Beauty Spot
~> Lust
~> My Twisted Mind
~> Black Twitterati
~> My Inner Thoughts...Mine
~> Syrup Sandwiches

here are 10 creative things about me, and 10 honest things about me

~ I can sing but am ridiculously shy
~ I deconstruct songs by instruments and harmonies...I hear something new each time
~ My dad was a DJ...so he had me jamming early!
~ My mother, sister and I sing a lot together in the house. (mom is alto, sis is 3 alto, i'm 3rd soprano)
~ I have dreams at night that, I'm in musicals and videos performing with original songs...I forget upon awakening
~ I can draw...WELL (dad is 100x better)
~ I keep colored pencils, markers, arts & crafts...it's like meditation
~ I can ACE a recipe 1st time out the gate...EVERY time
~ I never sing the same note as a song being sung...I always find the harmony
~ My favorite instrument is piano but I can't play

* Most people think I'm 10yrs younger than I am
* I'm deathly afraid of snakes
* I am OCD and wash my hands ad nauseum
* I cry very easily when I hear of others getting hurt
* I didn't orgasm during sex until I was 34 *gasp*
* Erotica isn't my first love...poetry and short stories are
* I sometimes pretend not to know as much as I do
* I talk to myself...and I answer
* If I write it...I remember it
* I'm a good impersonator of voices. lol

EFF EFF EFF YOU!

I want to EFF EFF EFF you!

I want to be your best friend. Tell me anything. Tell me what scares you, pleases you, disappoints you, makes you feel badly...how I can embed me deeply into your heart. I want to party with you, bathe with you, laugh with you, clean with you (you wax on...I'll wax off)...I want to be the one you come to before anyone because whether it infuriates you, brings you glee or brings stinging tears to the corners of your eyes...I want to be the one you think of first...even if it's me that has caused those feelings. I want to make you laugh so hard, that you accidentally on purpose pee a little. lol. That you laugh yourself into a place that only I can take you. I want to talk about nothing...nothing at all. I want to watch sports and root against your wack ass team and then be a team when the game is over (24...10...HUT). lmao

I want to love on you long time! I want to lick you up and down...til you say stop! I want to play with your body baby...make you real hot! I want to be YOUR exclusive, indoor/outdoor, do it where we wanna when the fire sparks, no one ever had it like YOU get it...freak. I want for you to push buttons I didn't know of...I want to push the ones you're scared for others to find. I want to practice Tantra and bring about tsunamis of pleasure...induced by orgasms that begin in your spirit and bust through the frame of your mind and body borders. Can we be connected in silence...still...no moving...just throbbing? You catching tune to the harmony of me and I reading the poetry of you? How about...I just want for us to meet each other's needs at least MOST of the time...and in between...

I wanna feed you. Cook the meals your mama made...but better. I want to spoon feed, hand feed, and offer you food from my lips. I want to get in the kitchen and whip something up that makes you wanna take the booty RIGHT there...in the middle of it all. ha! I want to prepare love for you on a plate, served with dedication and loyalty...a piece of peace, with some sensual sexy sweet...stirred right in.

I want to feed your mind, spirit, body...I want to feed your needs and desires...I want to feed your silly, your smart, your worker bee, your family love...I want to EFF EFF EFF YOU!

...and GOOD! ;)

Freak!

The Online Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines freak as follows...

1 a : a sudden and odd or seemingly pointless idea or turn of the mind b : a seemingly capricious action or event
2 archaic : a whimsical quality or disposition
3 : one that is markedly unusual or abnormal: as a : a person or animal having a physical oddity and appearing in a circus sideshow b slang (1) : a sexual deviate (2) : a person who uses an illicit drug c : hippie d : an atypical postage stamp usually caused by a unique defect in paper (as a
crease) or a unique event in the manufacturing process (as a speck of dirt on the plate) that does not produce a constant or systematic effect
4 a : an ardent enthusiast b : a person who is obsessed with something

Hmmmm?

I love that part of "Waiting to Exhale" when Bernie's daughter is asking her about the word freak. Cute and interesting at the same time. When I was growing up, the word freak meant 1 of 3 things. It either meant you were ugly (as in circus freak), it meant that you were nasty (as in Rick James' super freak) or it meant that you crazy. The 2nd definition is one I NEVER wanted to be called. Blame it on my affinity for words and how I've always broken them down. All I know is that in the mind of a young Kween, I could've gone my entire life without being called one. The 1st and 3rd don't apply...because well...I'm no circus freak and I damn sure ain't crazy. Well, not all the way.

Throughout my life I've heard "freak of nature", "freak accident", "neat freak", "control freak", "freak out"...which is also a hot 70's disco song, "freak-a-leak" which, um...er, uh clearly means some kind of nastiness. lol. No matter, the word freak is one that has it's good and bad connotations. But, let's be real...I brought the word about because of sex. I've had this discussion with a few friends and an ex...and I have to say...the definition is absolutely relative. See, there was a time when the word freak, as pertaining to sex meant to ME...a person who did things other than simple penetrating sex. Straight sex to me is vagina on penis action. When someone would say, "Oh that chick is a FREAK!"...I'd think in my head...oh, she sucks dick. So, in my head oral sex became a freakish act. Later on, I realized there are a LOT more "freaky" things, than some head. After a while, ANAL became freaky to me O_O...that being because compared to oral, anal sex seemed most unnatural. THEN...I got to know some really *let's call them a new name*..."sexually expressive" people who told and showed me things that made me think, damn...I'd rather being a damn freak than THIS. The fuck? What became MORE freaky than anal (a man penetrating a woman's anus for pleasure) was a man doing it to another man...or a woman using a dildo on a man...and him liking it...and her not thinking, "Is he gay?". Then, it was OFF shit...stuff that seems like some weird self-hate shit, like choking a bitch out...whipping folks with leather whips and cat o'nine tails. WHOA Sea Biscuit! WHOA Tenderfoot! Slow down damnit! I mean, I like the occasional open-handed firm, but gentle spanking applied right at the ass where the vibrations travel to the kitty...just as much as the next one...but hell nah. I have too many bad memories attached to getting my ass whooped with a belt to be bent over getting my ass reddened by a grown ass man with his dick hard off my pain. *wait...hmm* NO...NO...hell no. lol *ahem* *whistling* GEEZ! I have even seen, well...heard *lmao* of fisting...where a person basically punches a woman's vaginal canal with their fist and half of their forearm. *cringing*. WOW.

ANYWAYS...I wondered what other people viewed as "freaky" and how they have gotten over their own hang-ups and insecurities concerning sex. Would you be a submissive? A sex slave? Would you fist or be fisted? What perversity is up your alley or out of your league? The floor is open...just don't get nothing on my rug.

laid up

I SO wish that I could be laid up under you,
curled into you...
your body heat melting me slowly
I want to turn soft pecks
into deep,
long,
sensational sucks...
until...
until we're...
a puddle of melted affections
DAMN,
I want to be laid up under you...
Making your scent mine,
lathering in your lust
Bathing in your firm touch
Mold my softness
with the tips of your fingering...
while my sweetness swirls
and my explosion
begins it's lingering
Take over me...
roll into me
Hover above me
*lick*...
mmmm...
DAMN you...
I WANT to be laid up under you!
Make it so...
that...
parts of me
form to fit
parts of you
as
grips tighten
things heat
harden and throb
with painful pleasing
and you ease
my longing
with strong strokes
handling the job
blowing my mind
I, just wanna be laid up
under you
telling you
with my eyes
"right there"
biting lips
leaving marks
I wanna be laid up
legs up
you...up...all in me
laying me
finessing my walls
breasts rising to fall
moans so small
they escape into
whispered breaths
come to me...
right now...
I need to be laid...
right up under you

SO...

you think you know, huh?
*giggling wickedly*
my sweet exterior
done got you fucked up...
thinking you know
*shaking my head*
i didn't dub my SELF da kween...
i earned that title
royally fucking
with the minds of a
few kings
squires
peasants
most not worthy of a little toil and trouble
i got SKILLZ, ya heard?
nothing green about me,
but the shade of my kiwi green panties
that i rarely wear
do you think you can handle me?
let me inside your head
let me take up space
filling in each crevice
nook and crook
with a little hook
a
fool
done messed around
and called my bluff
challenged my crown
this jewel here?
i got it driving one mad
with just the scent
and he wouldn't relent
until he was bent
on knees
pleasing me
THIS precious stone?
came
and came again
off the velvet tones of
coy kink
slyly and slowly chinking
at his armor
this rock?
stands for multiple hard-ons
mentally pile-driven
until spinning
into sleepless nights
of this kween's loving whispers
i wielded my power
against men
who thought me prey
and are still praying for my throne to fall
"i hate that i love her mind...FUCK!"
too proud to beg
STILL gone off that shit
please believe...
i yielded my powers
ONLY
to the call of love
for otherwise
an army of men
might fight amongst themselves
for the mere honor
to bow to me
you don't EVEN know...

I'm home...

a hard day's work
out in the cold of the world
he comes home
near dark
looking for love from his girl
she's got this way
how she soothes his day
she's got this way...
that makes it hard to stray
he comes home weary
body bent from the strain
she's got excellent senses
so she calls his pet name
"sweetness, come here..."
she sings lyrically
he sits down beside her
she picks his brain...literally
she places his head
in the palm of her hands
strokes him
his body in her command
his day fades to black
her seduction is at full blast
eye contact
plus skills
equals man relaxed
into her...she's got him
moving in on his ache
tending to each hurt
with kisses on his face
he moans
"i'm stressed..."
she whispers "i know babe"
he moans
"i love you"
she smiles and says the same
she knows what he needs
so she supplies
his body language speaks
...her he can't deny
came in exhausted
by a day of life's shit
one touch from her
and he just won't quit
he came home looking
for love from his girl
she gave him just that
...now all's right with the world...

Extraordinary Love

They'd been friends for a while...conversing through the cybersphere and being each other's rock during trying times. It was kind of how they became so close...she needed someone to help her through a break up and he...through a rocky point in his marriage. Neither of them intending to become so intimately enmeshed in one another. For him the jealous tinges started when she started seeing someone...and though he was married, he'd become infuriated at the idea of someone else touching his Precious. For her it would be the sight of her Pride and his wife hugged up in pics online. Through it all, they loved each other...probably in a way they'd never love anyone else...unconditionally and transcendentally. In other words...with knowing each other's lives, mistakes, flaws, etc...they still loved each other without the pretense.

So, when she made a business trip to his town...it was natural for them to want to meet. They'd had so many conversations about their attraction and had gone back and forth so many times as to what the "right thing" was. Fighting their intrigue only served to further light the already all-consuming flame they shared. She'd push him away...and he'd let her...momentarily. He'd give her space, but eventually...she would come back throwing a tantrum for his attention. They were a riot, and they enjoyed their unorthodox connection. It brought a lot of light and laughter to both of their mostly chaotic lives.

They decided to meet on neutral grounds. No hotel room or otherwise private location. The hotel she was staying in for her conference was cat-a-corner to a nice diner that stayed opened 24hrs...so she'd been there in the 2 days since arriving and thought the food was good. He agreed to meet her there after a late night at work...figuring 30-40 minutes across from this extraordinary woman would be a joy he couldn't turn down. Interestingly enough, he got there first. She didn't want to make an "entrance" or anything...but, she'd forgotten her purse on the bed and had to go back to get it. Unfortunately...she'd left the hotel key there, too...so of course that meant a few extra minutes at the concierge. When she did show up...wearing a cashmere gray shrug, a black maxi dress and black wedge sandals...his breath stopped short just a little. She beamed a smile, when making eye contact and walked over to him. He stood up...6" over her and said, "You're so beautiful"...and kissed her gently on the lips. He pulled out her chair, she sat down and then he. He held her hand and looked at her. She could feel it...the moisture gathering between her thighs filling up the black see through panties she had on. He said, "Oh my God...I can't even pretend..." and before he could finish the sentence, she said,"...I want you, right now." She'd finished his sentence and before they'd had a chance to order...they left.

Almost as if meant, when they walked out to his truck...it was damn near stranded. He'd parked furthest away from the diner, but in the time since he'd done that...several cars had left him as the only truck on that side of the lot. They looked at each other and giggled a little. She thought that they'd drive to a more "secluded" area instead of going into her hotel...he could get noticed, she thought. So, she decided to get in the back so when he'd found a place they could get a little back seat nookie. Well, it never got that far. As she attempted to climb up...he ran his hand across her ass making him bulge for her. He pushed her over gently making her ask, "What in the?..." He laughed and said, "You know what this is..." With that...she just leaned over onto her stomach as he stood there in the door of the truck pulling up her long dress. When he uncovered those panties, he was DONE. He moved them over and could see in the night's light how wet her pussy was. The sweet creaminess had leaked and filled her underwear and was now dripping to her clit. Not being a wasteful man, he bent down and took it all into his mouth. She released a quiver and a moan that encouraged him to dip his tongue inside. He passed up dinner...so he might as well eat SOME thing. He sucked on her lips, tonguing her special place with a firmness that made her squeal. He decided to have salad as well, so he took turns devouring her ass and clit. After she'd come a few times in his mouth and he'd swallowed proudly...he pulled out "her" dick and slowly placed it in as she winced. His head was so fat that she came AGAIN on entry. He moved in and out and could see so much milk on his dick that it just excited him, but he wanted to take it slow. She said, "Don't...don't go slow...take your pussy baby. FUCK me, please!" That just turned him on and he couldn't restrain himself anymore. He sped up until he was fucking her fast and furiously out the side of his truck...testing suspension for about 15 minutes or more. His thickness produced thick creamy cum...what HAD to be her squirting and finally his own cum, bursting into the warmest place he'd laid his dick ever.

She laid there for a few moments...spent from the exquisite exhaustion of having been fucked the loveliest way to date. She pulled her panties back over her soreness...mentally noting to take them off and give to him. She stood up barely, looking at him as he stood against the truck beat. She kissed him long and deep, tasting her own sugar...and said, "That was extraordinary..."

After that...he went to his life...she to hers...and they both remembered a moment in time where they were with the most beautiful person they knew, continuing to be each other's friends...loving and supporting each other's lives. Now, THAT is love...

Loving On Me...

I wonder if other ladies do what I do...you know, walk around in my womanly-ness. Ladies, do you know what I mean? Do you ever walk around with no panties on and just FEEL the warmth of your own pulse? Walking a walk that tells onlookers there is gold between them there hills...lol. Do you possess a stride that makes you feel like you walk with the power of wars and peace between your thighs? Have you ever gotten dressed and felt the fabric tickle your nipples? As I sit here penning this ode to the female frame...arms extended to the keyboard...between my arms are breast that meet with cleavage every time my hands get closer together. The weight of my breasts, tenderly...sensually heaving with each inhale and exhale.

Sometimes...I extend my leg into the air, to follow the lines of my feet, calves and thighs with my fingertips. I examine my canvas, finding a birthmark here...a beauty mark there. Tickling the skin barely touching just to form an idea of sensation. One of my favorite places to caress is the bone right above my upper thigh...leading to the crease of my center...oh, the pelvic bone. The skin is so soft there. My folds and fluff...mine to love...get attention when I'm drifting between last thoughts and dreams. I love to tilt my head back and trace my fingers from my jawline to my neck and then taking a sharp left (and right) to the full sides of my breast.

Ever lie on your side and love on the meeting of your cheeks and thighs? I can't count how many times an innocent touch of mine, ended in fingers slipping in from behind...and...yea. Being a woman with a little...well a lot "on the side"...I've got a little extra "in between" ;) I so love the inside of my own thighs...plump folds that keep the middle well-warmed.

Showers are my rituals. I love the exfoliating gloves I use...it enables me to wash and caress with my hands. Sliding effortlessly with my body wash over every bit of me...luxuriating in an otherwise routine moment. And the moisturizing! Yes, the slow massaging of lotion disappearing into my skin. I sometimes lie naked, afterwards...and allow the air to hit places normally covered. Freshly lathered, lotion-ed and lounging in my skin.

Loving on me...

1st Love, 2nd Chance...3 Hearts ~Epilogue-A Year Later~

Layla DaCosta-Linden was sentenced to 20 years for killing Hassan Lawrence. Her lawyer tried to get her off on a temporary insanity plea but it didn't fly in the face of the jurors who believed she was cognizant of her actions. Her children are with their father and split time between him and her parents. During the trial, Natalie couldn't bear to face her...yet, she did sit with the family in support of her sister. The sentencing was rough on the family. The DaCosta’s were extremely sorrowful and apologetic with condolences to the Lawrence’s...but the bond of the two families were irreversibly broken.

The Funeral:
The Lawrence’s got plenty of condolences, flowers, and hugs. The DaCosta’s were asked NOT to attend so out of respect they didn't. Beryl did show with her mother, brother and cousin in tow. She was devastated at the vision of her former fiancé lying dead in a casket because of unrequited love. Beryl recorded the service and gave the tape to Natalie. She knew it hurt her to not be allowed there to see Hassan be eulogized and buried...so she taped it, with the permission of the Lawrence’s. That was the beginning of their friendship.

Natalie and Vaughn married in a small ceremony just before Layla's trial began. Natalie wore a simple cream halter gown with a plunging back with thin ribbon borders in her favorite color of peach. She carried peach daisies and her mother; a great baker...made her wedding cake. Even though the event was supposed to be a celebration, there was a vacancy in the bride's face. Her truest love was gone...at the hands of her sister...who was gone in a way as well. Vaughn makes her happy though. He doesn't expect her to not mourn Hassan or her sister-ship with Layla...he just works hard to keep his woman happy.
Beryl began contacting Natalie after Hassan's funeral. They formed a friendship just from their mutual loss. This day, Natalie was calling to check up on Beryl. "Hey, B...how are you?" Natalie asked. Beryl perked up at the sound of Natalie's voice. There was a weird consoling in having Natalie as her friend. "HEY, Nat...What’s good Mrs. V? Beryl called Natalie Mrs. Vaughn all of the time. “I'm good. Just working!" Nat said. Beryl knew that Natalie worried about her. When she and Natalie began talking, one of the first things they shared was Beryl’s profound sense of loss. Even though it was evident that Natalie was HASSAN’S true love…Hassan was Beryl’s. She could barely eat or sleep since Hassan died. So, when Natalie called, Beryl knew that she’d get the 3rd degree questioning. She didn’t mind though…she liked that she was being looked after. For some reason she withdrew from so many of her friends when Hassan was killed…and Natalie was the closest thing to it she had nowadays.

Natalie got to the question at hand. “Well, I’m just gonna get down to it…Vaughn and I are having a baby and want you to be the godmother.” Beryl screamed and dropped the phone. Natalie laughed while she heard Beryl in the background running around. She was SO happy! Natalie and Vaughn felt so blessed and wanted to share that with Beryl. She’d been such a good friend, especially when Hassan died and Natalie’s family wasn’t allowed to attend the funeral. She’d been there for Natalie when Layla had been sentenced for killing Hassan. Even though Natalie tried to pretend that she could handle it to everyone else, it was Beryl who saw and heard Natalie break down at the loss of her sister. She never knew how much Layla hated her and resented her. When the details of the murder were disclosed in court, Natalie’s mouth was agape at the final dialogue between Layla and Hassan. She couldn’t have imagined that his words could drive Layla to do what she did…so there were days Natalie’s heart couldn’t bear the pain of losing them both.

“OH MY GOD…” Beryl said. “…I can’t believe it. WOW. Congratulations, Natty! You and Vaughn deserve this happiness more than most I know. I’d be honored to be the baby’s godmother!” Natalie was pleased to hear Beryl happy and to know that she’d be willing to spiritually co-parent her and Vaughn’s child. They talked a little more, going back and forth about baby details. When they hung up, Natalie told Vaughn how Beryl accepted their request and he hugged his wife. “That’s so cool, baby. I’m glad that she did…I wouldn’t want anyone else to be the godmother.” They agreed and decided to go to dinner as a mini celebration of the news.

Beryl went upstairs and into her bedroom…sitting on the bed gently. She leaned over and said, “Hey baby boy…you’re getting a little brother or sister. Daddy and Auntie Natalie are having a baby!” She kissed her 3 ½ month old son, Preston Lawrence Michaels and smiled. No one would ever know that he was really Hassan’s and not Vaughn’s. After all…a child needed a father.

1st Love, 2nd Chance...3 Hearts Pt 7

A couple of weeks went by. Beryl moved back to her hometown hours away from Hassan. They talked before she left and Beryl told Hassan flat out...she was no one's consolation prize. She hoped he found what he was looking for in Natalie and wished them well. Her heart's beat had slowed to a sporadic beat with her departure, but she knew she was better than the situation. Hassan felt badly. He DID love her, but just not the way he loved Natalie. What they had transcended body or mind. She was in his soul...yet, Natalie had closed the door on him. She promised him that she'd NEVER be with him. His betrayal with her sister had broken her. The two people she was closest to growing up had violated her and she knew no other way to cope but to cut them out of her life. Hassan was even MORE shocked, when Vaughn took her home to care for her and proposed as he'd planned. Natalie accepted and was now considering marrying soon instead of having a long engagement. Hassan sat up nights staring at the ceiling fan which often times morphed from the Cingular symbol into a starfish. He'd fucked up. He allowed Layla to walk though his defenses and now he was paying for it in spades.

"Baby, do you need anything?" Vaughn asked Natalie. She was cuddled up on the sofa watching a DVD. Her body still ached from the accident, but the cuts on her arms, legs and face were healing well. "Yes...can you bring me a soda?" she said from the living area. Vaughn had been waiting on her hand and foot...proposing to her when she came home from the hospital. He told her all about him and Beryl in the closet, but considering what she'd done...she wiped the slate clean. She did indeed love Vaughn and even felt she was in love....yet she knew her love for Hassan was deeper. Nonetheless...Knowing that fact would never erase his infidelity with Layla. She and Layla had spoken once after her release and all they did was argue. It did solve one thing though...it made Natalie feel more strongly that no contact with her sister was the best solution...

The week before:

Layla sat down on the edge of Natalie's bed while Ariella stood against the wall. Natalie sat up, still bandaged on her arms and legs...one bandage still on her neck and shoulder.
"What do you want?" Natalie said, while fidgeting with her cell.
"I need to explain what happened between Hassan and I."
"I'm listening..." Natalie said finally turning her attention to Layla.
"I've always been in love with Hassan..." Layla started.
Ariella tensed up and her brow furrowed...as did Natalie's.
"...Even at 14 he wanted you. I didn't seem to exist. I had a crush on him and tried to get his attention. He never bit. I resented when he finally asked to go out with you. It hurt me...but, I couldn't tell you. When you guys were living together, I longed for him...even though I was still married..." Natalie shifted...she got uncomfortable and tears were stinging her eyes. She was beginning to get angry and it showed. Ariella said, "You okay, Nat? We can end this shit!" Natalie shook her head and waved at Layla to continue.
"...well, when you went to that seminar...and you asked me to take him something...I don't remember...I was happy to be alone with him. He was already drinking beer. I convinced him to have a few drinks with me. We had rum and...I seduced him while he was half passed out." By this time, Layla was crying. Natalie was crying, beet red in the face...and Ariella was still holding up the wall, shaking her head. Natalie said, "Don't stop now...finish! FINISH!!"
"I had sex with him...while he called me you. Over and over...he called me Nat. I hated you. In that moment and every moment I saw you with him...you talked about him...or I thought of you with him...I hated you. I fucked him and didn't care. I left the panties...the hair...I kissed the pillow...I wanted you all to break up." Natalie looked at her, tears falling and said, "Leave… NOW. Before I lose control on you. Just go. Sisters don't do what you did to me. Sisters who love each other don't...and you don't love me. Ella...get her and take her out of here...NOW!" Layla didn't protest. She got up as Ariella walked her to the door. Natalie threw her phone to the floor, laid down and got under the covers. She sobbed until she slipped into slumber. That was a week ago, but everyday Natalie cries like it just happened.

Hassan sat in front of the house. He didn't know what he was doing there...but, he knew he needed to talk to Natalie. He wasn't no punk, but Hassan recognized how much of a struggle it was handling Vaughn the last time. He still had a bruised back and abs as evidence. He saw the lights go on and off. Yes, he sat there long enough to watch daytime fade and nighttime fall. He finally drove away realizing that it was too late to knock on the door. He drove until he pulled up to Layla's house. Layla lived in the same neighborhood they all grew up in...actually about a block or two away from the DaCosta's family home. He DID get out of the car then. He walked up to 6403 Chamberlain Drive and knocked. No one answered. All the lights were off and he realized Layla's car wasn't in the driveway. He decided to wait. He found a seat on the swing in the far corner of the porch...but not before unscrewing the porch light. He just wanted to scare her...he wasn't REALLY losing it. Was he? An hour or so must've gone by, but because he drifted off Hassan didn't really notice. He was awakened by the sound of heels clicking on the stone walk. Layla approached the door and became afraid. The light was motion activated and yet it didn't come on. She was so busy scrambling for the keys she didn't see or hear Hassan approach. He tapped her on the shoulder and her reflexes caught him in the chin. He winced, more out of shock than pain. "Damn, girl...you got a nice left." Hassan joked. "Hassan? What the hell are you doing on my porch at almost 2 in the morning? Are you crazy?" Layla asked. He reached up and twisted the light back in and it came on. "Nah, I just wanted to talk to you, Lala. Is that ok?" Layla wasn't sure, but her need to be close to him overrode her suspicions. She let him in and closed the door. He looked around and said, "Nice place...where's the kids?" Layla dropped her purse on the table near the door and said, "They're with their grandparents. We were there for dinner, they fell asleep and I didn't feel like waking them. Look, what do you want Hassan? Your last words were harsh...so what?" Hassan came right out and said, "I'm horny...I need some." Layla got offended. "GET THE FUCK OUT!! You've lost your damn mind Hassan Lawrence!" He laughed and said, "Oh now you have manners? Etiquette? Decency? Come on...you've been wanting me to want you for years...and when I come around you don't want me?" Layla's heart fluttered. She was weirdly aroused. She thought of how many times in life he'd ever wanted her...and she could count none. She too was lonely and decided to cave. She said, "Fine...fuck it. Let's do it. I'm horny too. Let me get freshened up." Hassan said, "Nah, fuck that. I want it right now. Take off your clothes." Layla did as she was told. He stripped down as well. Layla pushed him up against the wall and slid down to her knees. She started kissing and licking the head of Hassan's dick. She took him in her mouth and deep throated it. She was salivating at the thought of sucking "his" dick. She tried to devour it but it was too much to truly do that. She caressed his sac and began to lick them. Hassan pulled her off of it and led her to the plush chair. He pushed her over and slid inside of her roughly. She moaned loudly and spread her legs to brace herself. He began moving in and out of her...ramming into her. He used her hips to bring her back onto him. Layla became so loud which only served to turn him AND her on more. The harder Hassan fucked her, the louder she got, the louder the slapping got, the louder the juices got...and then he released all over her back. He said to her, "THAT'S how you treat a whore. I hope you enjoyed that bitch! You fucked me over...I fuck you back!" Hassan said with a menacing tone. She turned around with a horrifying look in her eye. He managed to do it again. Make her feel like she was dirt. "What...you did this to hurt me?" Hassan laughed as he wiped his dick off with her blouse. "Yes TRICK...what part of this didn't you get? You fucked up my chances with Natalie AND Beryl. I gave you what you wanted...so, you should be happy!" Layla seethed and became speechless. She saw Hassan picking up his clothes off the floor and while bending, he said, "Crazy bitch...You'll NEVER be Natalie!" Layla lost it and picked up the modern piece of sculpture on her table and hit Hassan repeatedly over the head. He slumped over in a pool of his own blood...naked and dead. Layla called 911 and sat there waiting...naked and dead inside.

1st Love, 2nd Chance...3 Hearts Pt 6

Hassan watched the ambulance pull away with Vaughn accompanying Natalie. He wanted to go, but the police needed some answers. Since it was his and Beryl's apartment, he didn't have much choice in the matter. As soon as the questioning ended and the police officers left without any charges being pressed by Hassan or Beryl...the silence fell over the space. Beryl was the first to speak. "Go...find out how she is. I'm gonna finish packing." Beryl began to cry and walked to the room. Hassan felt like shit. He didn't know what to think anymore. In just a few days he went from a man engaged to be married...to a man whose fiancée was leaving him. Not to mention the love of his life could die. Hassan got up and went to the door...as he was opening it, he thought about Beryl. He wanted to soothe her, but he knew he couldn't wait around forever to find out how Natalie was doing. He left the apartment on his way to the hospital. Beryl stood behind the door of the room crying in a ball on the floor.

Besides the lacerations and tender muscles, Natalie had not a broken bone. She did however have a concussion and was in and out of sleep. She finally awoke a couple of hours after being admitted to find a blurred frame sitting at her side slumped over in a chair. She blinked hard and opened her eyes again to find Layla sitting there looking worse for the wear. Layla heard Natalie rousing out of her sleep and asked, "How are you feeling, Nat?" Even in half-consciousness, Natalie was still heated with her sister. "What?...leave.....go...." Natalie said between hard swallows and deep breaths. "Nat...please. You have to listen to me..." Layla started. Ariella walked in and said, "Not now, Lala...go find mami and have something to eat with her. I will stay with Nat." Layla didn't argue. Ariella had a way of saying things that were definite and deliberate. She'd pull big sister rank QUICKLY and remind you she could still kick your ass. Layla left the room and Ariella sat beside Natalie in the chair. She got Natalie up to speed on her condition and groggily Natalie listened. Finally, Ariella spoke on the night's events. "Nat...you and Layla WILL figure out a way to get past this. You cannot let this come between sisters." Nat said softly, "I only have one"...and fell asleep.

Beryl decided to go to the hospital. No matter what she thought about the situation, the woman could've died in front of her and she wanted to make sure she was okay before checking the bus schedule. She walked into the emergency room looking for Hassan. She didn't see Hassan, but she saw the man with whom Hassan had been fighting with earlier. She approached him and spoke. "Hi, I'm Beryl...Hassan's fiancée...well, ex girl friend. How is Natalie doing? I was concerned." Vaughn looked broken and bruised as well. He had cuts on his eyelids, lips and cheek bones. His knuckles were wrapped and he was holding his side. "She's fine. She's got a concussion, cuts and bruises...probably gonna be out of it for a while, but she's aight." Vaughn said dryly. Beryl felt awkward asking about Natalie's welfare, but she DID care. She almost didn't want to ask the next question, but she did. "Have you seen Hassan around?" Vaughn cut Beryl a look of fury and said, "YEA, I saw his punk ass...he left with Mrs. DaCosta and Nat's sisters." "Ok, thank you...um, what's your name?" Beryl asked politely and cautiously. "Vaughn." "Thanks, Vaughn...take care of yourself." She walked away to look for Hassan.

In a corner...on the same floor of Natalie's room...Hassan and Layla argued through their teeth.
"This is YOUR fucking fault" Hassan accuses
"No, it’s OUR fault...you can blame me all you want, but WE slept together!" Layla reminds him
"You're crazy...if you hadn't walked up on me and Beryl this wouldn't have happened!"
"Um, are you fucking delusional? You fucked my sister a day ago! This is because YOU and NAT couldn't keep your hands off each other!"
"LOOK, I need you to stay out of my fucking life. Mine AND Natalie's."
"She is MY sister muthafucka! I don't have to go ANYWHERE! YOU on the other hand...is a different story!" Layla said.
"You got me drunk all those years ago...you fucked me while I was half passed out. It cost me my woman. I've got a 2nd chance and I'm not losing it over your psychotic ass!"
Hassan's words hurt her. Layla knew he didn't REALLY care about her, but she'd never heard the words so adamantly expressed before. A tear fell with her silence and Hassan began to walk away. He stopped in his tracks and said, "Lala...leave us alone. Let us work it out. You worry about your sisterhood...let us worry about our love. There's no chance for us, so don't try and come between us." Hassan walked away and Layla sunk into the corner to cry.

She bent over so he could stroke her pussy deeper. He was so deep in her; she could feel the head in her lower belly. Vaughn was fucking Beryl better than Hassan ever had. Her shirt was lifted above her breasts and her bra was on the floor of the closet they were in. Her skirt was flapping with each stroke and her panties around one foot. Her cocoa skin and his white chocolate were contrasting in the reflection of the silver cart. Beryl was squeezing her pussy down on his dick, but it wasn't necessary. He filled her up in each direction. Vaughn parted Beryl's ass to view the cream forming around his shaft. Neither of them remembered how they ended up fucking in the utility closet, but they were making it quick...and making the most of it. Vaughn took out his anger and physical pain on Hassan's chocolate pussy and Beryl took out her hurt on Natalie's big dick. Vaughn exited and turned Beryl around sucking on her nipples and using his two fingers to rub the froth of her kitty's milk all over her clit. One of her legs was wrapped around him as the other barely touched the floor. He then picked her up and she landed on his stick. He thrust himself in and out of her while her breasts moved and her gray eyes pierced his. Her face screwed and he knew he was about to bust the center of her cocoa kiss. She shivered...he quivered...and just like that, they remembered who they were to each other. Consolation prizes in a very biased game of Hassan loves Natalie. They both felt like they'd gone through that window with Natalie.

1st Love, 2nd Chance...3 Hearts Pt 5

"What the hell is SHE doing here, Nat?" Hassan said, slamming his door. Natalie went to get out of her vehicle, when Layla grabbed her arm. "Don't...this is a big mistake. Hassan is not good for you. Don't mess up with Vaughn for this liar!" Layla pleaded. Natalie looked at her sister and said, "Lala...calm down. Just wait here." Natalie got out of the truck and asked, "What is the problem? She caught me as I was leaving to meet you. She's not going to say anything to anyone." Hassan said, "SHE is the problem...well BOTH of us are." Layla's heart was beating so fast. She could hear Hassan's words. She was beginning to shiver nervously at the thought of where this was all headed. She'd played this out in her head so many times over the past years since Natalie and Hassan had been broken up. She feared this day and relished it at the same time. She wanted to get out of the car, but fear had her planted in the front seat. Hassan looked at the truck and then at Natalie and said, "Make her get out of the truck, Nat...so we can face this shit now!" Natalie's heart did flips as her belly dipped at the ominous words Hassan spoke. "What do you mean, Hassan? What are you talking about? BOTH of you have been acting strange!" And as the words fell out of her mouth, she realized for the first time what it was that she didn't see before. "WAIT...hold up..." she said as tears stung the corners of her beautiful eyes.”...YOU TWO? You guys are seeing each other?" Now it was Natalie who was planted with no ability to move. She didn't even feel her feet underneath her anymore. She almost fainted, but she just sat against the back of her truck. "For how long? Since you've been back?" she asked him. Hassan went to speak and laid his hand upon her shoulder. With that touch, Natalie was propelled back into her sensibilities and she caught her strength. "GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME!" She walked around Hassan, to the front seat and snatched her car door open. She pulled Layla out by her hair and began wailing on her with no concern for blood ties. "NATALIE...STOP!" Hassan said as he pried her off her sibling. Layla was curled up in a ball with her face bleeding and her hands ineffectively sheltering her face. "Oh my God...are you ok, Layla?" He asked while holding Natalie in a bear hug. She was fighting to free herself which she finally did by biting and breaking the skin on his hand. Hassan wailed in agony. "AAAAAAAAAAAAH SHIT!!!" Natalie began kicking his car over and over. She then got in her own truck and drove off...leaving Layla on the ground for Hassan to pick up.

At the emergency room...Layla sat bleeding from her head, her mouth and her ear, while waiting to be seen. She'd been given a cold compress and a pillow. Hassan stayed with her until Natalie and Layla's mother showed up. Mrs. DaCosta was in disbelief as to Layla's condition. More so due to who had inflicted the punishment. "Thank you for calling Hassan...I never thought I'd see YOU again...and surely not like this." She was in tears and he understood why. He left the ER to go find Natalie. Of course...the park was his first place to look. When he got there, no one was around. He sat there for over a half hour hoping she'd come...she didn't. He finally decided it was time to go home and face Beryl. He had a lot to deal with at home and he had NO clue as to what he was going to say.

Vaughn had followed Natalie. He saw Layla jump into the truck. He saw them pull up next to Hassan's car...even the altercation. He never moved. He just seethed. His blood pressure shot up and he began white knuckling the steering wheel. The idea of Natalie with anyone else wasn't sitting well. He was in love with the beautiful Natalie DaCosta. He'd met her parents months ago. Her mother, Samantha who was Black and her Latino father, Jose DaCosta. He made a return trip to the DaCosta's home just a few weeks ago to formally ask them for Natalie's hand in marriage...and now his potential wife was POTENTIALLY fucking her ex. He didn't know what had gone down, but clearly Layla had betrayed her with Hassan considering how badly Natalie whooped on her ass. He'd have to figure that all out later...in the meantime...he'd followed Natalie to where she now sat…Inside her old apartment with Beryl.

Hassan pulled up to the apartment building where he'd lived with Natalie for 2 years. He now realized that he'd never fallen out of love with her. His need to be close to her was so deeply embedded in him, that he never thought of how it would make Beryl feel if she found out. To Hassan, finding out the SAME apartment that he shared with his young love was available...was simply fate. It was meant for him to return home...even if it wasn't a return to Natalie. Hassan parked the car in a conveniently open space right in front of 485 Roundtree Avenue. He didn't notice Natalie's truck parked right across the street. He clomped up the flight of stairs and rounded the right corner walking until he approached the 2nd door on the right...apartment 205. He put his key in the lock and let himself in...almost shitting himself at the sight. Natalie and Beryl sitting on the couch talking...waiting for him. "What the fuck? Natalie, what the hell are you doing?" Hassan said, slamming the door. Beryl stood to her feet and Natalie followed. Beryl said, "Hassan...how could you do this to us? To ME? To HER!" she said pointing to Natalie. Natalie in a rage had gone back to her old place and knocked on the door, only for Beryl to answer. She introduced herself and reluctantly Beryl invited her in:

"So, what do you want Natalie?" Beryl asked
"I don't know...I just came here out of anger and now I don't know why I'm here." Natalie replied
"Have a seat..."
"Thank you."
Natalie fidgeted with her shirt and ran her fingers through her hair. She cupped her forehead in her palms and then made eye contact with Hassan's fiancée.
Natalie said, "I think I made a mistake...this is wrong for me to be here. I need to go home to my man and let this die."
She moved to get up but Beryl said, "No...sit. Please? I am confused and I need for you to clear some things up for me before I pack my shit and leave...and since you're the only one here...you'll do."
Natalie sat back down and said, "Ok, what do you need to know?"
Beryl explained the events of the evening to Natalie, watching her face go from placid to confused to angry. Beryl told Natalie of the woman who seemed enraged with jealousy and obsession who had confronted her earlier with Hassan...Natalie had deduced it was her sister. Beryl asked Natalie to tell her why she and Hassan broke up and if they'd made contact before the past few days. Just as they were ending the story of how Natalie and Hassan broke up in the first place...Hassan entered. Not knowing what had been discussed...a nervous Hassan launched into explanations unasked of him.

"Look B...we slept together ONCE last week. It was the FIRST time since we broke up. I hadn't seen her or contacted her before then...we didn't even TRY to hook up. We literally bumped into each other twice. I'm sorry that I..." SLAP!!! That's the next thing to be heard ringing through the still undecorated and somewhat empty apartment. He held his face and Natalie covered her mouth in shock. "YOU FUCKED HER? SO THAT’S WHY YOUR ASS BEEN IN THE CLOUDS? IM HERE TRYING TO MAKE A HOME FOR US...IN YOURS AND HER FORMER APARTMENT...DON'T KNOW NO FUCKING BODY...PICKED UP FROM MY HOME TO COME HERE TO MEET YOUR FAMILY AND BECOME YOUR WIFE...AND YOUR ASS IS FUCKING AROUND ON ME WITH THE WOMAN WHO DUMPED YOUR STUPID ASS?" Beryl was yelling and tears were streaming. It hurt Hassan to see her beautiful gray eyes filled with tears he caused. He wanted to reach for her but he was afraid to. She turned around and looked at Natalie. She said, "You can have him...I'm going back home." Beryl went into the room and began packing. Natalie said, "Wow...you need to go in there after her." Hassan said, "No...she belongs home...with her family. She's right. You have my head fucked up, Nat...I'm still in love with you." Natalie began crying and said, "Oh, no...not the same muhfucka who fucked my sister? No, not him..." She moved to the door and he reached for her. She tugged away and said, "Not now. Go talk to her. I'm leaving." As she flung the door open, there stood Vaughn. Vaughn was a shade lighter than Natalie...who was considered a "redbone" so that made him damn near see through. He was beet red and if there were animated effects to exaggerate his mood it would have been steam shooting out of nostrils and ears and he'd be revving his right foot. He wanted to charge but Natalie placed her hands on his chest and said, "NO VAUGHN!! DON'T!" He looked at her with a tear falling slowly and said, "How could you do this shit to me? How could you fuck him? I knew it when you ran to the shower before kissing me or even LOOKING at me." Natalie wanted to keep things from escalating. She said, "Baby...lets go home..." he smacked her hands down and said, "GET THE FUCK OFF ME...WE don't have a home! I do...and when I get home you better have your shit gone or it'll be in the dumpster behind the building!" Before turning to leave he said to Hassan, "You got that pahtnah..." looking Natalie up and down with disgust. Hassan said, "Natalie, don't beg that nigga..." and before Hassan could finish or Vaughn could leave he charged at Hassan like he originally wanted to. Natalie screamed and Beryl came running from the back room. The two fairly large men went slamming into the wood coffee table, turning it into kindling. They wrestled until Vaughn got the best of Hassan and punched him in the jaw. Both women were yelling, "GET OFF OF HIM!!" and only Natalie had the right mind to call 911. She knew that Vaughn did bouncer and security work and could wring the life out of a man. Hassan wasn't down for the count. He got from under Vaughn and managed to get him into a choke hold. He began slamming Vaughn's head against the floor! Vaughn's adrenalin was pumping so fiercely...it was like he didn't even feel it. His nose and mouth were bleeding as was Hassan's. Finally, after making the call...Natalie attempted to break it up while Beryl stood in shock. She tried to pull Hassan off of Vaughn but not before Vaughn used his weight to get out of Hassan's hold. They were all on their feet and as the petite Natalie threw herself between the two men, they both were so bullishly locked on one another, they ignored the feminine frame between them. Somehow she got caught in between them and when Vaughn went to throw Hassan against the wall, it was Natalie who got flung through the living room window and onto the fire escape. Beryl began to cry and ran to her rescue, while the two men finally realizing their "prize" was near death...stopped long enough to look out onto the escape to see her bleeding and unconscious...